I have no idea
by weegee55
Summary: enjoy


**Just a little oneshot I decided to do for shits and giggles**

 **I don't own epic battle fantasy**

Natalie and Anna were roast already prepared cheeseburgers over a fire.

Anna: they look done to me

Natalie: Matt likes his food really well done

Anna: but they already have condiments on them

Natalie: he likes his condiments well done too

There was rustling.

Anna: there was I didn't hear it

Natalie: hey dumbass author, if your characters can't hear rustling then there isn't any rustling

Deadpool teleported in.

Deadpool: no breaking the fourth wall

Deadpool then grabbed the smash bros bat and hit natalie 50 ft. in the air causing her to explode.

Omnipresent announcer: Player 2 defeated. This game's winner is deadpool!

Deadpool: I'd like to thank Canada for making me possible

Anna: wait, you're canadian

Deadpool left the campsite covered in arrows.

Natalie: well I'm back, by the way, what was making that rustling?

Anna: this (holds up bush)

Natalie: ah weak enemy, kill it with a high level melee attack

Anna: actually if you were a gamer with nothing better to do then discover all of our games' hidden easter eggs you'd know bushes can be raised as pets (Puts the bush on her head)

Natalie: why'd you put it on your head?

Anna: cause animals are always cuter when they're on someone's head

Natalie: really (puts Nolegs on her head) I don't see it

Anna: hey where are Matt and Lance?

Natalie: Lance said that he wanted to teach Matt how to use a gun

Meanwhile at **Name and address withheld** where 6 bottle were set up as targets

Lance: alright Matt, this is a gun. You point it at your opponent and shoot them in the head by pulling the trigger

Matt: stop being douche and teach me already

Lance: alright here's your gun (gives a dangerous weapon to an idiot)

Matt: hey!

(I call it like it is)

Lance: you ready?

Matt: yep (aims gun at target)

Lance: wait, you can't shoot your gun without giving it a name first

Matt: oh, I'll call it little Tom

Lance: you can't call it a boy's name

Matt: Why not?

Lance: cause that makes you gay

Matt: and naming my gun doesn't

Lance: … I don't know how to respond to that

Matt: what's yours called?

Lance: gun (shoots 3 of the targets)

Matt: all right then (Begins concentrating)

Lance: hurry up!

Matt: AHHHHHH!

Lance: (hits matt on the back off his head) this isn't DBZ, now shoot a target already

Matt: fine (fires three shoot only for all of them to miss)

Lance: wow

Natalie: ow my knee, my 2nd favorite knee

Matt: oops

Back at the campsite Natalie was holding her knee since that dumbass swordsman who should have never been given a gun shot her

Matt: I can hear you

Anna: wait did you say that was your second favorite knee

Natalie: yeah, why

Anna: (shoots Natalie in her other knee)

Natalie: why would you do that?

Anna: 3 reasons

You were only shot in one knee and my parents told me to never do anything halfway

I hate you

I'm an archer and you can't have an archer without referencing skyrim

I can't stop talking in this format

Natalie: what does that last one have to do with me?

Anna: I needed something to take my anger out on

Natalie: wait, you play skyrim

Anna: where do you think all those shattered kneecaps came from

Suddenly all of the former adventurers from skyrim showed up

Random guy: there she is, the one who shot us in our knees

Anna: (gives bow to Natalie) I think she did it

Random guy: get her

Natalie: ah, (runs away using her staff and Anna's bow as crutches)

Anna: she can move fast with two shattered kneecaps

Back to the gunman and the dumbass

Matt: swordsman

Suddenly the two were trapped in quicksand

Evil native chief: hahahaha, after years of our bitter rivalry I've have tricked you two into quicksand

Lance: who's that

Matt: I have no idea

Evil native chief: and now you will die

Lance: of what old age

Matt: Seriously dude slipping small chunks of butter into our cereal would kill us faster

Matt and Lance stepped out of the quicksand and began a boss battle with the chief

 _30 minutes later_

Matt: that fight was surprisingly difficult

Lance: how was I supposed to know he could summon every opponent we've ever faced?

Matt: he killed us like seven times, thank god for respawns

Lance: we even had to go to just to beat him

Matt: who are we talking to

Lance: I have no idea

Back with the girls

Anna: I'm sorry I shot you in your knee and sicked my enemies on you

Natalie: that's all right, it's nowhere close to the worst thing you've done. Why do you hate me though?

Anna: cause I'm supposed to be the game's main female character

Natalie: pardon?

Anna: Natz, your only useful skill is your ability to heal, I have that but unlike you I'm actually good in battle

Natalie: 0_0

Anna: I mean they killed aerith off for a reason

Matt: well girls we finally defeated that nutcase chief and got the final plot device weapon

Lance: now all we need is the final plot device attack and we'll final be able to beat the villain we saw at the inciting incident festival

Anna: great

Natalie: Anna shot me with an arrow

Lance: We'll leave you girls to it right Matt?

Matt: we're not making a lesbian porno

Lance: aww

Anna: you know we hate each other right

Sup Guys

Lance: ah, it's Sans one of the most difficult bosses from undertale

Matt: undertale?

Lance: it's the next fnaf

Matt: oh shit

Anna: guys it's just someone screwing with us, also you accuse someone of being a skeleton monster just because he talks in comic sans. That's racist!

Lance: social justice warrior

 **I have no idea what I'm doing**


End file.
